The Psychological Underpinnings of Sex Addiction

The diagnosis of sex addiction is the same as every addiction: loss of control and continued behavior despite adverse consequences. Sexual addiction differs from other addictions, however. Our sexuality reflects unconscious conflicts, longings and wishes of which we are not aware.
In essence, sex addiction enacts in real life the underlying deep-rooted conflicting, and painful relationships patterns from early life that distort current views and beliefs and self, others, sexuality and intimacy. It is a symptom of a stuck developmental process that occurred as a result of some aspect of inadequate parenting or an experience of being disenfranchised from peer groups in later childhood.
Sex addicts usually have had a problematic mother-child relationship. If the mother is not empathic, she will have little tolerance for the stressors of raising a child. If she is alcoholic, depressed or narcissistic, she will be unable to supply the nurturing, empathy and attention that are needed for the healthy development of her child. This results in having generalized anxiety, fear of abandonment and a sense of insecurity and low self-worth in adult life.
The anxiety of being unable to regulate his inner life drives sex addicts to run to his only source of comfort and safety, his “Erotic Haze” where he is shrouded by sexual fantasies, isolation from real-life, and self-soothing. There is also the quelling of an unconscious wish to find the missing, yet crucial tie to the mother figure. He again, unconsciously, fantasizes that he can regain a connection with an idealized “other” who represents the all-powerful yet feared and often despised maternal object. The strategy is doomed to fail. Tragically for him, there IS a real person behind his fantasy and sooner or later other person’s needs, wants and demands start to interfere with his fantasy world. Disappointment, frustration, and loneliness are the result.
A mother may be distant and narcissistically preoccupied or she be over-protective and constantly interferring. This kind of woman may be subtlety seductive with her child, perhaps using him as a substitute for an emotionally distant husband. The child perceives the mother’s inability to set boundaries as seductive share this site and as a immense disillusionment. In adult life, the addict is hypersexual and has trouble setting his own sexual boundaries. Closeness to another is experienced as an overwhelming burden and as dangerous to his individual development. The child has lived a life where structure and boundaries have not been set. Later in life the sex addict’s unconscious belief is that the rules don’t apply to him with regard to sex, although he may be regulated and passive in other areas of his life.
Addicts have experienced enduring and long-standing deprivation of his needs in his childhood. Anxiety and fear about being closely connected to someone in adult life is the result of these early-life parental misattunements. The sex addict is uncertain getting what he needs from real people. Rather than going to the human community to be supported, nurtured and validated, he turns within himself and determines to seek need gratification in his sexual fantasy life and real-life enactments with sex objects or to internet cybersex and pornography where he feels soothed and comforted for a brief period.
The “Erotic Haze” tells the tale of a frantic search for the fulfillment of unmet childhood needs for validation, affirmation and soothing. Activities in the “Erotic Haze” lessen anxiety about connection and intimacy as it serves as a way to achieve a sense of self-validation.
Sex, for the addict, begins to be s primary focus for a confirmation of his sense of self. Feelings of inferiority, inadequacy, and worthlessness automatically disappear while in the “Erotic Haze” while acting out or through spending untold hours on the Internet. The problem is that using sex to meet narcissistic needs for approval or validation disallows using it to meet the intimate needs and wants of a treasured, real woman.
The narcissistic elements in sex addicts cause them to view other human beings “need-satisfying objects” to bolster feeble self-esteem — not as whole human beings who have their own wants and needs. Narcissism prevents sex addicts from getting gratification from connected, give-and-take relationships in real life with real people. “Sexing” is a magic cure-all for need gratification without having to navigate the vicissitudes of real-life intimate relationships.
A patient of mine, a 50-year-old attractive unmarried man, came to therapy because he is ending yet another relationship in a long string of problematic relationships. In his early years, he lived a toxic household where he felt frightened and alone. As a result, he went into his own world of fantasizing and masturbation as a way to soothe and protect himself.
“When I was young, I would obsess about beautiful women in my father’s magazines. When I got old enough, I dated numerous woman but I never had a steady girlfriend. Later in life, I experienced a sense of sadness, emptiness, loneliness and anger that I didn’t know how to handle. To mask these feelings, I had a steady stream of women who adored me, comforted me, and tended to my needs. I visited peep shows and I went to see prostitutes. Many nights I would spend hours circling the block looking for just the right sex worker to perform fellatio in my car. Once I acted out with a transvestite. I felt dirty and bewildered. That night, I sobbed me way home.”
He had met a girl whom he described as “perfect” — a “10″ – the ONE for me. They became engaged but he quickly lost interest in having sex with her. He described sex with a real, loving, available woman as “boring.” While still engaged, he started seeing prostitutes for oral sex in the car and once again started using phone sex to compulsively masturbate. The reality of having to tend to someone else’s sexual needs couldn’t live up to his self-centered, deviant sex.
He is now in a another shaky relationship. He had been smitten with the woman’s youth and beauty. Unconsciously, he thought a relationship with her would allow him to stand-out in his social environment. Men would envy him and he would consider himself a cut-above. Again, his goal was to fortify his shaky sense of himself.
The rest of the story is predictable. They moved in together and the beautiful, young, sexy female goddess started to make demands and have needs of her own. He admits he never felt warmth or love for her; she was merely a supplier of his narcissistic needs. As the relationship deteriorated, he fought the impulse to have anonymous sex with people who wouldn’t make demands on him.
Defense Mechanisms Ward off Unwanted, Threatening Feelings
The use of sexualization as a defense is written about in the psychoanalytic literature. A defense mechanism is a strategy a child devises to psychologically survive a noxious family environment. While this way of protecting himself may work for a period of time, the continual use of the same defense mechanism in adulthood can have devastating consequences to ongoing functioning in work and love. Living in the “Erotic Haze” — losing himself in sexual feelings and relentlessly viewing other people as potential sex partners, or by spending excessive periods of time on the internet with porn or cybersex, the sex addict is able to mask and control. threatening and uncomfortable feelings
Another patient demonstrates a narcissistic personality that uses sexualization as a defense. He is a 42-year old attractive, unmarried man.
“The other nigh I went on a date. After the third date, she wanted to have sex. Predictably, I didn’t. I don’t know I can maintain an erection with a woman anymore. I spend endless hours looking and porn and flirting with girls in chat rooms to live in my erotic fantasies, when it sex becomes real, sexual interest soon withers away as her wants and needs become apparent to me. Sometimes, I don’t even engage in pursuing real women, because I know the result is a painful let down. Quite frankly, I have no interest in really getting to know someone or in extending myself to satisfy her needs and wants.
“My life, however, is still absorbed with sex and sexuality. Sex is the lens through which I see the world. If I go to a family function, I get lost in sexual fantasies about my young niece. The fear of being found out to be “deviant” devours me. If I see electrickettleguides.com/ a woman on street who’s dressed in just such a way, I’m worthless for the rest of the day. Vanilla sex with a regular gal just doesn’t turn me on anymore. Sex needs to be bizarre, novel, taboo or forbidden for me to be interested.
“Sometimes when I get to work in the morning, I’m already in an “erotic haze”. Female colleagues are all objects for sexual fantasy. I’m always distracted; not able to focus. If work needs my attention, when reality impinges and pulls me out of sexual preoccupation, I’m angry. Reality is boring. Regular sex with a girlfriend is just not interesting to me.”
This is a person who uses sexualization as a defense mechanism. He uses sexual daydreaming as a way to mask unrelenting, pre-conscious feelings of loneliness, inadequacy and boredom stemming from a childhood that involved always making effort to get love and nurturing from an emotionally distant, depressed mother. When stress or anxiety begins to make him feel boom beach cheats hack paralyzed, he is experiences powerful cravings to enter t he “Erotic Haze” to indulge in his secret, sexual world. Sexualization thus becomes his customary manner of dealing with emotions that he experiences as overwhelming as well as a way of stabilizing a precarious sense of self-worth.

Taking Yoga Teacher Training Online

With yoga rising more and more in popularity, many skilled yogis are looking to take their practice to the next level by becoming certified yoga instructors. However, since most aspiring instructors already hold a full-time job and may have a full commitment load, finding a teacher training course that works with their busy schedules might prove to be a bit of a challenge. Thanks to the internet, many aspiring yoga instructors seek out their yoga teacher training online. While online instruction can be valuable, it can have its drawbacks as well. Here are the pros and cons to obtaining your yoga instructor certification on the internet.

Pro: Create a Schedule That Works For You – The biggest reason why yogis seek out their teacher certification online is because they can create a learning schedule that fits in with their lifestyle. For anyone who’s ever been held back from achieving their dream of becoming a yoga instructor http://www.boombeachhackss.com/ due to a hectic schedule, online training can be a blessing.

Con: No In-Person Instruction – Anyone who practices yoga understands the importance of in-person instruction. From mastering an asana to learning how to breathe correctly, there is no substitution for hands-on instruction. With online instruction, there is no teacher present to make any corrections or modifications. However, newer styles of online instruction have found a way to correct this, as you’ll see in the next pro.

Pro: New Technology Makes Online Instruction More Hands-On – While older online instruction formats lacked the hands-on aspect of an in-person instructor, newer formats that use video make online yoga teacher training almost identical to an in-person program. By using a web camera, instructors can watch their students live and make any necessary suggestions. This format allows students to enjoy the experience of an in-person class from their own home.

Con: Missed Opportunities For Networking – One of the perks of taking a teacher training course through a studio is that students can meet their fellow teachers-to-be, create bonds with their instructors and become affiliated with a studio. Students who seek online, independent training lack these luxuries. However, while these are certainly perks to an in-person program, there are still ways for online students to create these connections. As long as you continue visiting local studios and attending yoga-related events, you can still create these connections boom beach cheats hack as an online student.

The ability to obtain one’s yoga teacher training online can be invaluable for those who aspire to become yoga instructors but felt held back by a busy schedule. While there are certainly perks to studying through an in-person program, newer advancements in technology make online teacher training more hands-on than ever. Ultimately, it’s important to continue to be an active member of your local yoga community, even if you are studying online. This will help you greatly once you embark on your teaching career. The people that you meet now may end up being your co-workers or students later, so don’t be afraid to really get involved in your city or town’s yoga scene. Namaste.

The pros and cons of downsizing your home after retirement

I’ve been thinking about the advantages and disadvantages of downsizing to a smaller home after retirement. This is what I’ve come up with so far…
Advantages
The first and most obvious advantage is that, if your existing home is worth a lot of money because of its location and size, and/or you have a lot of equity in it, the sale of the home could give you a cushion of money to make life in retirement a little easier and fund some of those ‘bucket list’ adventures.
I’m assuming that you would be moving to a property that would be easier to manage as you got older – not one that’s going to make life more difficult (although I accept that I could be biased because cleaning and other assorted, household-related tasks are not really my thing and I can’t imagine that ANYONE would CHOOSE to spend MORE time engaged in those activities!)
Downsized would, presumably, mean cheaper as far as heating, cooling and property tax bands are concerned.
If you like decorating and/or DIY, you might relish the idea of ‘doing up’ another home and putting your personal stamp on it.
You could have a fresh start and get rid of some of the clutter and ‘stuff’ that you’ve accumulated over the years. (Although having to get rid of much-loved stuff because you can’t fit it into your new place could also be a disadvantage…)
And, of course, downsizing would also bring the opportunity to look for a neighbourhood with close proximity to the amenities and services that will be useful in later life if your health deteriorates and you can no longer drive.
Disadvantages
The most obvious disadvantage that springs to mind is leaving your old home, neighbourhood, and friends and neighbours behind…
…which means acquiring new neighbours – which could be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on the personalities of those new neighbours.
There is, of course, an emotional cost to leaving a home where you raised a family and spent many happy years of your life. If you’re downsizing from the family home, you may also meet some resistance from your kids for the same emotional reasons.
Another big disadvantage MAY be that a downsized home may mean a ‘not-as-nice-as-the-old-one’ home… or a ‘not-enough-room-when-friends-and-family-come-to-stay’ home (although this could, equally, be an advantage and a useful excuse if you don’t particularly enjoy the company of some of your friends and family members).
A smaller home might mean a smaller or non-existent garden (again, not a problem for someone like me – I hate gardening and it would save me the cost of having to pay someone else to do it for me!).
Moving home can be stressful at any age and, I suspect that, the older you get, the more stressful it feels. And, of course, the costs associated with selling a home and buying another will only add to that stress!
I’ve moved 8 times in my adult life – twice, temporarily, to apartments which brought me into close proximity with my neighbours. In my experience, the worst thing about downsizing to a smaller place is the fact that you, very often, put yourself closer to other people and their noise. The thing that I love best about living in a detached house is the fact that I don’t have someone else’s noise (from blaring music, social activities, domestic arguments, etc) coming through my walls.
I think if I was considering making a permanent move to somewhere with a party-wall, I would, at the very least, have to ask my potential new neighbours (as nicely as possible) if they were likely to be noisy, and I’d probably go around the neighbourhood, knocking on doors and canvassing the opinion of the inhabitants about the peace and quiet of the check more area. I think that, when you’re downsizing to a place that you hope to stay in for the rest of your life, you need to be more discerning than you have ever been at any other time in your property-hunting life – particularly if you’re boom beach cheats hack buying a home. (If you’re renting you can, at least, move on again after the initial rental period is up!)
Many people who like to have access to theatres, cinemas, restaurants, etc, consider moving to city centre apartments in retirement. I lived in a city centre apartment for six months and, whilst I loved the bustle, buzz and convenience of city centre life, I definitely didn’t love being wakened every Friday, Saturday and Sunday morning visit more information at 3 am when the casino around the corner opened its doors and disgorged, en masse, its patrons, who then either tried to extend their evening’s entertainment by continuing their conversations on the street beneath my window or roamed the area, noisily looking for taxis to take them home.
Maybe the key to all this is to rent a home (of a similar size and quality to the one you’re considering downsizing to) for six months, before committing yourself to a permanent move. At the end of the six-month period, you’ll have a much clearer picture about the viability – and sustainability – of such a move, and, if you’ve hated every minute of living there, you can lick your wounds in your old pad and re-adjust your downsizing plans in the light of the knowledge gleaned from the experience…

Lello 4090 Gelato Pro Quart Ice Cream Maker – Gelato Made Simple When Friends Come Around

The yearning for our favoured ice cream flavors can hit us any time. So what would you do when you wish freshly made flavors of ice cream in the midst of the night or if there’s surprise guests around? Often the fat amount in ice cream can somewhat change your desire and stopyou against reaching out for much more. The most effective and only way to have just as much ice cream in your heat’s delight is to bring home an ice cream maker. Buy the Lello 4090 Gelato Pro Quart Ice Cream Maker to be precise!

With the Lello 4090 Gelato Pro Quart Ice Cream Maker, you may relax a bit about calories; it’ll allow you to have as much gelato as you wish until you are fully content. With an ice cream maker in your own home, you can make real fast frozen desserts and you can whip up your chosen flavors quickly minus the ingredients you deem containing so many calories. So even though you have friends around or you wish to win over your visiting mother-in-law, you can make all-healthy the ice cream that you would like easily.

Description:

Lello 4090 Gelato Pro Quart Ice Cream Maker works quietly and it carries a washable bucket or bowl. With no doubt, it can efficiently create a lot greater quantity of ice cream for a lot lesser time and price than the Lello 4080 Musso Stainless Steel Lussino Ice Cream Maker 1.5-qt. Note; this is a 2-quart ice cream maker (larger than the 4080 model) and it’ll just take you about 45 minutes all-in-all to make 2 quarts of ice cream.

This kind of gelato ice cream maker comes with an integrated timer. You also will be aware steps to create settings for the ideal period of time for processing and the right temperature. It shuts off automatically when your gelato is prepared. It is also designed with a detachable bowl for quick serving and washing. This is the type of machine which is not only an efficient ice cream maker but in addition an one-time wise investment which will love here offer you non-stop gelato.

Product Features / Details:

1. Built-in freezer unit
2. 45-minute time procedure (for 2 quarts of ice cream)
3. Built in timer, auto shut off
4. Removable ice cream bucket – an easy task to clean
5. Power: 235 Watts (1/3 HP)
6. Product Dimensions: 15 x 11 x 13 inches
7. Shipping Weight: 43 pounds

The Lello 4090 Gelato Pro Quart Ice Cream Maker performs effectively on a 235-watt electrical power. It weighs in at less that you could take it with you to create perfect gelato everywhere you intend to go for a perfect summer afternoon. This unique ice cream maker doesn’t produce hard piles or rocks of ice and your ice cream fans would not possess leftovers when they have the smooth and rich taste.

What exactly are you waiting for? Buy an ice cream maker that will provide you with tons of fulfillment since there can be nothing more satisfying than providing your friends and family the gelato that won’t be damaging to their own health and will not fill them up with unnecessary calories. They will rather be asking for your gelato next time around so had better be ready with your Lello 4090 Gelato Pro Quart Ice Cream Maker.

Trying For A Girl Baby – Tips To Conceive A Daughter

If you have decided click more details that you would like to have a daughter, there are a number of steps which you can take to increase the odds in your favor. Trying for a girl baby is not as difficult as you might think and you need not leave it all to chance.

Firstly, it is important to dismiss old wives tales and heresay and try to concentrate on tips to have a daughter which are based around known scientific facts. Many couples express a desire to have a baby of the gender of their choice but very few choose to do anything about it. I feel that if more couples knew how simple it can be to influence your baby’s sex, then more would actually do something about it.

When trying for a baby girl, the timing of intercourse is extremely important. The female sperm is much stronger than male sperm and it can live longer than its male counterparts. However, the disadvantage of female sperm is that it is slower moving. This effectively means that in a straightforward “race”, male sperm is likely to win, so what you need to do is to use the robustness of the female sperm to your advantage and the way you can do this is by timing intercourse carefully.

First of all, establish when you ovulate. Women will ovulate 14 days before the first day of their monthly period. Now if you have a regular cycle, this is easy to determine. However, if your cycle is irregular, or you want to be absolutely sure you are getting this right, I would recommend using an ovulation predictor kit. You may want to use one over two or three months to get to know your cycle. Once you know when ovulation is going to take place, when trying for a girl baby you should have intercourse on the two days before ovulation. This will mean that although the male sperm will have reached the fallopian tubes first, they will have perished before ovulation, leaving the female sperm ready and waiting to fertilize the ovum.

The timing of intercourse is just one way to help you conceive a daughter. To give yourself a high chance of success, consider using a multifaceted approach which combines various scientifically based techniques.

If you would like to see tried-and-tested, all-encompassing methods which will help you to conceive a daughter, there is an excellent guide which is based on scientific rather than anecdotal principles. It includes all the information you need to successfully choose your baby’s gender and has been proven to be 95% accurate.

Try These Facial Workouts: Non-Surgical Solutions Treat Eye Wrinkles

There are a variety of reasons that lead to the manifestation of around and below eye wrinkles, like sun damage, free radicals, and smoking. Disposing of crow’s feet, eye wrinkles, and bags are a problem faced by countless men and women. There are some very effective ways to take care of them, as in the face exercises presented in this article.
Though there are thronerushhackcheatz.xyz/thronerushhack/ quite a lot of factors why lines form below and in the region of the eyes, it is largely because of collagen loss. Once that happens, lines form easily. When it comes to skin care, there may be nothing as disheartening as under eye wrinkles. While it’s difficult to thwart wrinkles from appearing, you can work on tightening the facial skin and fading their development. Removing eye wrinkles can be accomplished organically. Follow healthy habits, which will assist to restore the skin in the region of the eyes.
Here are various acupressure massage regimens for below and around the eyes, eye bags, and dark rings:
Eye socket face yoga workouts: Position your thumbs on the top part of your eye sockets immediately above and on each side of the start of the nose bridge. The thumbs ought to face upwards and fit snugly in the contour on the inside of the eye sockets. Make small inward circles. This workout procedure treats crow’s feet, dark circles, and under eye wrinkles, and induces blood flow to the mid face from the brow right down to the mouth area.
Eye corner face gymnastics: Position the tips of both index fingers at the corner of the eyes. Make small outward circles on the thin skin here. This will cut down on and remedy subtle lines and crow’s feet, as well as under eye creases. This face workout will also overcome eye bags.
Below eye wrinkle face gymnastics exercises: Here is the core facial toning therapy for below eye lines and nasty eye bags. Lay the same fingertips beneath the eyes on the grooves of the lower eye sockets. Keeping your eyes open, do small outward circles. This should lessen and eventually eradicate under eye wrinkles, improve crow’s feet, dark circles, and shrink eye bags. The eye area will have better color to it and will filter downwards to the mid and lower face.
Don’t press into the eyes while practicing these yoga facial exercises. The skin is somewhat thin here, so these facial yoga routines can go a long way to prevent, minimize, and lose eye lines. Do them as often as you can and you will discern a marked improvement in this face area within days. Can you imagine what face aerobics can do for the rest of your face and neck!
Here are some other non-surgical home therapies and cures to eradicate eye wrinkles, dark circles, and eye bags:
Put on sun screen when going out. Consume more water, less coffees and sodas. Dark eye rings are oftentimes a cause of constant dehydration. In addition, get more sleep nightly. Cut down or eradicate smoking. This hint alone should lower the presence of eye bags.
Try to de-stress while performing facial toning routines. Stress is a major contributor to eye wrinkles and eye bags. In addition, take a Vitamin K supplement every day as this can vastly treat dark circles quicker than you can imagine!
Using mashed avocado on the eye area lessens the appearance of fine lines about the eyes and underneath the eyes. The natural oils in the avocado will moisturize and nurture the eye skin, tighten slack skin surrounding the eyes, making you appear more striking.
Rub coconut oil on the wrinkly eye region. Coconut oil is highly moisturizing; daily applications will lessen eye lines and eye circles considerably and assist with your facial yoga routines.
Apply cucumber slices or the juice thereof using a cotton ball below the eye region. This is a highly effective natural home remedy to smooth out wrinkles under the eyes, fade eye puffiness, and will also refresh the eyes by making them seem more alert.
These are easy treatments to overcome under and around eye wrinkles naturally. Facial gymnastics don’t have adverse effects and help treat this problem quicker than lotions. Plus, they are a more permanent solution as opposed to cosmetic processes. In a short period you can gain an new face glow with shallower eye creases and receded eye bags.